Miscalculation of 40 days

Today is the saddest day of my life. My whole world was turned upside down at 3 am in the morning when my father called and told me that my mother had passed away.

Inna lillahe wa inna ilaihe rajeuun

Finland gave me many things but took away the time that I would've spent with my mother as she will be laid to rest.

She always used to come online on the weekend to talk to me and she did not last night. I found it a bit strange but it was late here already so I did not call home. She laid down in the computer room as she always did and then did not get up. The only solace that I find in all this is that she went peacefully.

I just talked to IT and he asked me that he cannot begin to imagine how I felt and I replied,

"Its just empty space, a void, you try to place anything there and nothing fits and you know that nothing can fit. All the love, care, trust, faith, everything just gone, stripped away and you feel like you will never be loved that way ever again.

You love someone and you want it to be returned in full, but you always get more than you asked for, now that is gone forever... in a single instant, one sentence and its all gone."

Whoever reads this, just call home right now, tell your mom that you love her, even if it is really hard to do. I always did that now I cannot, so do not let this chance be taken away from you because it will be.

I had waited for 25 months and kept on counting days till I get back and meet my mom. Now that day will never come. How will this void be ever filled? Below is the picture of her with me at my brother's mehndi. Can't hold her like that ever again.

I met House M.D ... almost

I had informed you guys that I had been having problems with my left eye, which included watching 2 images with it and having a growth on the top eyelid. This called for action and that meant going to a doctor for checkup. This is a big thing because it takes about a month to get an appointment time and if you are unable to reach the place, you are charged for not canceling the appointment. That is what happened with my last appointment and with a month of delay I finally was able to get my checkup.

The doctor in this case was not your everyday sweet and well mannered doctor. He was one rude asshole and only if I had not seen House M.D. I would have been really pissed rather than enjoy the way he treated me.

When I came in he asked me what was wrong and when he saw my eye he said, "Oh! that is apparent." I then added that it was not the only thing that is wrong with it, to which he added, "I do not have time for anything else, sorry about that." Hearing this, I got amused and then I explained to him anyway that I was seeing two images with my left eye to which he got a bit interested ... like House and then properly examined my eye.

While he was switching lenses to make me see better, he asked if I can see better. The thing with watching two images is that, even if you have the correct number on the lens, since the images merge together, you cannot really say, so I said that, its clearer but I still see two images. To that he said, "I didn't ask if I could see two images or not, just asked if I could see better." Very
charming fellow don't you think?

Anyway, the verdict as given by him was that, the growth needs to be taken out before anything else is done and the two image problem can be solved easily with proper lenses as I have astigmatism and refraction problems. So I guess I am going to recover some time soon and I hope that I get the operation done before I go to Pakistan.

Gears of War

I finally finished Gears of War on xbox 360

I must say that it was really enjoyable and i had fun all the way. a few things that really bothered me were getting stuck to the walls when you are trying to run and the AI of my team mates was horrible. I played most of it as Coop and i must say that whoever buys this game, should play it as coop. this is not fun as a single player game... well it's fun but not as much as coop.

great graphics, great gameplay, few annoying glitches but the whole experience is so enjoyable that they do not matter.
The story sucked with no heads or tails. Cutscenes were done amazingly well but they were predictable. The voice acting was done well and i liked the alien voices too.

The enemy variety was not that much but the enemy AI was quite good. I played it on hardcore difficulty so sometimes you get to try a lot of times to pass a stage. That is my recommended difficulty to play. I am going to try it with insane difficulty next, so lets hope that its not too difficult.

The camera angles are sometimes annoying when you are trying to throw a grenade or sprinting. You do not get to see where the grenade might end up or where you are running to; even though the grenade shows its trajectory.

weapon variety is really small:

pistol/revolver almost useless
machinegun which fires small bursts (you rarely use it)
machinegun which fires long bursts and has chainsaw
shotgun
explosive bow (very limited ammo)
rocketlauncher (very very limited ammo)
grenades
sniper rifle
hammer of dawn (used in scripted places only)

with that said, i always enjoy games with ballistic weapons rather than energy weapons, so it was really fun to use the guns over and over again. I loved the chainsaw... if only it would work all the time. The reloading technique is fun too.

I played it on multiplayer and its a lot of fun there. People use good tactics and the action is fast and frenetic

Its a must buy and if you do not play it online, you are missing 60% of the fun of and the picture above is in-game.... so is the video below... I like the song.

Dune

He who controls the spice, controls the universe

I finally read the all time best Science Fiction novel Dune by Frank Herbert. It was interesting and every bit the way I had imagined the Dune universe. I came across Dune with Dune 2 which was the first ever real time strategy game which set the foundations for all strategy games to follow.

After reading the book, watching the TV series was a treat. I suggest that who so ever has not seen the series, do not see it unless you have read the book. The series is true to the book and there are going to be many things that will not make sense unless you have read the book. I also watched the other series Children of Dune, which is much better made and acted. Even though I have not read the novels on which it is based, it was fun to see it and was understood easily. If you get the chance and are a fan of science fiction, this book is not to be missed.

Winter has arrived

It snowed here 3 days back, which gave a bit of an indication that the winter has finally arrived. With temperatures reaching -30 C sometimes, this is no easy winter. It feels that harsh, but since you hardly spend any time outside, you do not get to feel that much. This photo shows how it looks from outside my apartment. Snow has melted now but believe me, there is going to be loads after loads of snow in the coming days.